How Nannies Can Keep Their Business and Personal Life Separate

Great nannies often become more than employees to the families they work for, taking on a role more akin to family friend than household worker. While a close relationship with employers is, in some ways, the Holy Grail of a career in private childcare, it can also become a burden if you aren’t careful. Maintaining necessary boundaries and keeping your personal life completely separate from your professional one without damaging the relationship you’re building is a careful balancing act, but one that is necessary to maintain a good working environment.

Live Out

Live-in nannies are far less common than they once were, with the majority of private childcare providers living off their employers’ property. If you have a choice in the matter, however, you may want to carefully weigh the risks and benefits before moving into their home. While you can eliminate both your commute time and the cost of maintaining a household, you could be effectively eliminating any expectation of privacy as well and walking into a situation that allows your employers to inadvertently take advantage of your proximity. If you don’t want to have discussions about where you were and when you came home on your night off, you should probably opt to maintain your own residence and commute to work each day.

Don’t Bring Last Night to Work With You

You can’t reasonably expect your employers to respect your personal life and need for privacy if you come to work showing clear signs of over-celebrating the night before. If you don’t want your employers questioning your choices or concerning themselves with the personal decisions you make while you’re off the clock, don’t allow the consequences of those decisions to show while you’re working.

Establish Boundaries Early

It’s far easier to establish boundaries at the outset of your relationship with the family you work for than struggling to reverse a trend of prying or mutual over-sharing. Establishing personal boundaries doesn’t mean you have to remain aloof or avoid connecting with the family you work for on an emotional level, just that you institute a policy of maintaining a polite distance from one another’s personal lives from the moment you assume a post. Making sure that you have these boundaries in place will not only protect your private personal matters, it can also help your employers understand that you’re not at their beck and call during your off hours if you live in. Warding off job creep, unpaid overtime and all manner of morale-destroying pitfalls of working as a nanny can be as simple as making sure that you establish reasonable boundaries early on.

Do the Kids’ Laundry, But Don’t Air Your Own

Just as showing up to work with an obvious hangover makes it apparent that you were celebrating to the fullest the night before, you cannot expect to keep your personal affairs private if you allow them to seep over into your professional life. An argument with a significant other or a falling out with a friend might be upsetting, but it’s imperative that you leave those feelings at the door when you report for work. Frequent melodrama in your personal life can also cause your employers to wonder about your judgment and decision-making abilities, which could affect your job stability even if your work performance is satisfactory otherwise.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

A trend of sharing too much or having heartfelt talks about your private lives can be next to impossible to reverse, and it can start with as little as one deep conversation. Unless it directly affects your charges or your ability to do your job, it’s best not to ask your employers if they’re having difficulty, especially if you suspect marital problems. Offering your shoulder for support is undoubtedly a kind gesture, but it’s also a slippery slope that can end in the complete destruction of any boundaries you and your employers have in place.

While it’s in everyone’s best interest to avoid any heart-to-heart talks about the state of your love lives, that doesn’t mean you have to keep your employers at arm’s length or treat them with detached coolness. It’s possible to be gentle and kind without welcoming revelations of marital discord or financial strife, just as you can maintain something akin to a friendship without cluing your boss in on every poor choice you make in your personal life. Striking that balance isn’t always easy, but it is almost always worth it in the end.

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